Seems the heads on my camera need to be cleaned, so no video this week. I’ll be back with some out takes next week, hopefully.

So, I recently had the pleasure of participating in a contest known as the 48 hour film project. If you’re in the Louisville area, come and see our film at Village 8 Theaters – Thursday at 9:15 pm -get tix here! Get them early! they sell out before showtime usually. Come and vote for our film as Audience Favorite “Loba” (which means “She-wolf” in spanish).

If you’re unfamiliar with this source of both stress, elation and a weird time dilation due to lack of sleep, check it out here. I had no idea that something like this would end up leaving me a little changed.

On Friday night, we sent a couple of our team members down to draw our “have tos”. These are the things that HAVE to be in the film to prove that we did it in 48 hours.

We drew the genre “Film de Femme”, which means it has to have strong female leads. We drew the character “Bert or Bertha George, the gardener” , the prop “A 3 ring binder”, and the line of dialogue, “Just tell them Joe sent you”. All of these things had to be incorporated in the 4-7 minute film we were about to create. From the time we drew these items (6:30 pm), we had 48 hours to write, develop, cast, shoot, edit and turn in.

Sadly, we were 5 minutes late.

However, we produced  a great short film!

I wrote the tale based on the native american legend about how we all have two wolves within us.  To make it very short: One is all about giving, joy, harmony, the collective, while the other is angry, hateful, selfish.  I played the role of an insane killer who thinks she is a wolf and shares this legend with the psychologist who has come to the asylum to meet with her.

Everything was so rushed, worked smoothly, but I had little time to really think about what I had written, where it had come from, and how it felt to play this role. I was just going with the flow..and lots of mocha.

Saturday night came along and we all settled in to watch the raw footage… I was frozen solid as I watched it. It really opened something up within me, and my performance terrified me.  I have to say that is was really hard to watch.  Seeing myself look so insane left me feeling…well, disturbed.

Why? Because in the past, I have been the lone wolf that wants to be a part of the pack.   Unaware, I’ve found some pretty ugly thought patterns running amuk within me, and this just said “you can’t hide from that anymore”.

There’s one line in particular that really stands out. “She wants to run with the pack…she does..but there’s just too much pain. She can’t trust them. .. So, you see… she hates what she longs to become.”

And another producer/actor in the film, Matthew Blake Wallace, and I really found the timing for this film spoton: we’d both already come to points in our lives where we didn’t want to be lone wolves and are learning to be part of a pack.

So many people say “I hate the rich”… I don’t need a  life partner…This or that company is awful…so on and so forth…yet inwardly dream of having money, love, and all the stuff they perceive as good…yet harbor ill feelings towards those that have those things.  So, if we harbor those feelings – how can we ever expect to acheive those things?

(if you’re getting this by email, don’t forget to come and see the picture posted here)

Divinity Rose in her furry chaps

The preparation leading up to it was exhausting! I hosted Sub Rosa, the Gypsie Courtyard monday night  where we featured Ben Evans of Yert.com, who had hilarious episodes to share with us. In addition to that, we featured Mike Wright’s music and some talented acting by Jon Adams.  Some amazing filmmakers also showed up and shared some of their work,  and  it kept me out late.  I got just a few hours sleep before I had to get on the ball picking up items from sponsors and getting everything ready for the shoot. With help from Taylor, I was able to get it all done by about 2 in

the morning….So, I got about 4 hours sleep and then had to be up at 6 am to get out the door and pick up a couple more items such as the generat

or and Heine Bros coffee before heading to Lagrange. We arrived about 9 am and I didn’t return home until about 1:30 am the next morning, because of clean up and then dropping off equipment and items after the shoot. Needless to say, I was pretty exhausted.

Everyone on the set was amazing, though. I am so truly blessed to have had such a beautiful group of people on board. They really made the project a  HUGE success. Everyone had something beautiful and awesome to contribute.

Over the next couple weeks, behind the scenes videos and photos are going to show up here, but here’s one of Kri, Headdy and I gathering the items to transform ourselves into wild hearted fun lovin, zombie herdin cowgirls!

One of the reasons, I’ve come to a place where I was able to make this video and have such an awesome experience is because I faced my difficulty trusting others. Film is such a collaborative process that you have to be able to have faith in the abilities of those helping you and trust their know – how.  It was such an amazing opportunity to witness the power of a group effort with people who trust each other.   You have to let go of control and move with the day.  What is something that you want to accomplish? What’s something you have to let go of? How can you let go of control and trust in the vision for your life and where it takes you? Do you have problems trusting certain people or situations? What would you find most freeing?

Don’t forget, if you’re receiving this via email, you’ll have to come over to the site to see the video   Also, don’t forget to leave me a comment and share this with all your friends

Love, light and blessings to send you through your dream as Divinity rises within you.

First, let us go up, shall we?

I was able to shoot an experimental film with a friend for my poem “Keys to Broken Dreams” – it was a lot of fun and I’m really looking forward to seeing how it turns out.

Donavan is a wrestler, and he  was great to work with.   We shot at the waterfront park  near the Tumbleweed.

Donavan was a really good sport. The set up for this scene really took a lot of patience from him just laying there as we set up everything around him.

Cody was my assistant, and he did a great job.

My pal Norm (from last week’s video) was kind enough to let us use his apartment and mirrors for this  scene.

Now, everybody hold your hands up and scream as we take the roller coaster downward!

The brakes went out on my RV. I haven’t been able to drive it and won’t until they are fixed. My super mechanic has been too busy to be able to look at it.

Now lean back as we head up again: I have a friend coming to look at the brakes . In the meantime, I’ve been busy planning and have completed the cast and crew for an upcoming Doomsday Lover video to be shot next month. Oh yeah! Be prepared to be amazed.

And back down again: Due to the brakes being out and other circumstances, Cody and I missed Thunder over Louisville this year.

If you aren’t familiar with the term, it is the huge air and fireworks show that kicks off two weeks of Derby festivities every year. 7-800,ooo people turn out for it.

The fireworks last for half an hour, and the show is the largest in North America. Here’s just a small clip shot by my friend Anna A.K.A. Super Geek ( ohhh, she’s a super geek, super geek, she’s super geeky):

upside: To make up for it, we made our own personal thunder.

And terrifyingly downward: I was working yesterday on the computer when I heard Cody screaming outside like he was being attacked…I thought for sure a dog was mauling him. I ran outside to see what was going on, and I couldn’t find him anywhere… I yelled for him a couple times… Turns out he had taken his dog next door into the neighbors yard where Chase found a small kitten and picked it up in his mouth before taking off with it. Thankfully, the kitten was fine – just really pissed off…and with good reason.

Sooo, in the ups and downs where are you? Are you enjoying the ride? Where do you keep your focus? On the ups? On the downs? Or do you run around in a tshirt that says “bissfully unaware”?

SPILL IT! (and then click the share button below )

I’ve been so busy that I’ve been running to keep up!  I

1)had repairs done to the Rv on a couple different days,

2)moved all of my stuff into storage in my friend’s garage,

3) sold a bunch of stuff I didn’t need/want on Craigslist ( I love Craigslist- it paid for the engine repairs).

4) Went to three children’s birthday parties (including Cody’s which I had to buy the supplies for, set up, host, etc)

5) cleaned out a refrigerator that has probably not been cleaned in over a year at least.

6) Scheduled some very exciting upcoming video shoots

7) gave the boy a mohawk (the boy is my love term for Cody)
Entered a poetry fellowship contest for $15,000 (Cross your fingers, light a candle, say a prayer!)

9) all the usual life stuff

10) actually did get some sleep

11) broke down on my way to Carly Rae’s to host the Speak Easy

After replacing the throttle cable and fuel pump, it was still breaking down.

Check out what I look like frazzled and sans make up in this misadventure when the RV  stalled followed by *insert dramatic music here* the death of a battery.

I took it to the mechanic the next day and he replaced the fuel filter and fuel line for me. He didn’t even charge for labor! I am so blessed! It’s been running great ever since!

By Friday night, I was in the middle of a nervous break down, but after Cody’s birthday party Saturday, things returned to a slightly slower pace…for about two days. Coming up this week, I’m acting in two short films, visiting an awesome poetry/film festival at the University of Louisville, and Mike Driskell will be starting the renovation of the inside of the RV….and I’ll be taking some video of it!

Oh! A nice little surprise to add in to it all! I won this great little prize package from my blog pal, Jake over at his Blog :)

March Madness @ JakeCpuNut from Jake Leftwich on Vimeo.

Has your week been as manic as mine?  I sure hope that things are unfolding in your life that bring you an abundance of joy as you realize your wildest dreams!

Leave me a comment or two about a misadventure of your own 

It is about beat poets and features local legend and internationally known poet/rebel/wild spirit man Ron Whitehead  and a video I made of Ron and one of his daughter, Rani Newman at the Louisville Speak Easy…

Check it out by clicking here.

Check out Ron’s web site here.