I’ll show you mine, if you show me your…. Double edged sword.

Demosthenes said, Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.

So, can I take a moment to be honest? I’ve found myself holding back, and I know I’m not alone. I find myself deceiving myself all the time.

For the sake of others, for their feelings, because we were taught that something isn’t okay, because we have to go to work,because I said I would, because they might leave, because they might get mad, because I’m afraid..(insert other excuses here).

There are a lot of reasons that we lie to ourselves and each other about what we want, but it only kills us. It denies pure spirit from flowing through us to realization and stops us from realizing our dreams.

So, let’s take some time to be honest with ourselves. I’ll go first.

I want to be free of drama and energy hashing and people who have to dramatize and energy hash. I don’t want to be angry or hold on to anything that makes me angry. I’d rather make funny faces or noises. I don’t want to chit chat about things that don’t mean anything to me. I love the human body - male and female,and get aroused by displays of beauty. I want to be wildly successful in ways that allow me to be a bigger blessing to others. I want to be beautiful-from the inside -out. I want to find myself sexy and be proud of myself. I want to believe in myself. I need sacred ritual time to myself to be okay. I want to be wildly in love with myself and everything around me. I want love to drip from every pore of my body and wash over anyone near me. I want friends of substance who are also beautiful people that incite me into orgasmic ecstacy with every word they speak. I want to see everyone break their chains and fly with me. I realize that the world is what I see, and I want to always clearly see the next step in my existence of absolute continuing bliss…and you know what? It’s okay for me to want those things.

Now- the hard part:
I have been hurt in the past and hate to admit it. I get scared sometimes. I realize that I only hurt myself and hold myself back. That means it is my responsibility to change the environment I find myself in. I don’t like feeling vulnerable. I have a problem with pride. Sometimes, I am not honest with myself or refuse to listen to the truth rippling outward from within. It is out of fear that I have not stepped through and followed my dreams more rapidly. I need others. I sometimes charm myself and place unfair expectations on others that match what I thought I saw in them, and get upset when they don’t act like I seem to think they should. Sometimes I bury things and don’t express how I feel. I’m very critical of myself sometimes. And you know what? It’s okay to admit those things.

Now it’s your turn. Can you be honest with yourself about what you want without feeling guilty? Can you be honest about the things you are responsible for that are holding you back from accepting your bliss? If not, time for some soul searching. Who is your God? What thought pattern is leading you: absolute and total acceptance or fear? Which one are you giving your power and adoration to? How have you shaped your God? The idea is to spill forth what you feel without judging yourself. As Albert Einstein said, Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.

When you see yourself reflected in everything around you…are you delighted and uplifted or are you tortured? Are you living in your heaven or hell? Are you scared or judging everything you see around you? Can you accept and embrace all around you? Do you have a problem with those you feel are leading things? Can you say you lead yourself or are you a slave to thought patterns you were unaware of? Do you serve your thoughts or do your thoughts serve you?

One of the things I’ve learned is that people at the top are usually there for a reason - for the services they provide to others or the services others believe they can provide. Thomas Jefferson said, “Go on deserving applause, and you will be sure to be met with it.”

Remember as you work to refine and hone yourself and what you want that there really isn’t a top. The top is an illusion of the physical realm. A pyramid unfolded becomes a circle. You’re not moving up. You’re moving inward - closer to center- closer to the source of the ripples of transformation. So, is your goal to get to the top or to be more of a source for yourself and others? Which method of motivation do you think will draw you closer to source? Remember…if you’re honest about your desires, then it is much easier for others and yourself to give them to you.

I leave you with a quote from Pearl S. Buck:The truth is always exciting. Speak it, then. Life is dull without it.

What truth about yourself can you surprise and excite yourself with this week?